Workout for Your Mission

What does that headline mean to you? What is your mission? What do you consider working out? When you think of working out does your heart skip a beat in anticipation or does your stomach sink in the feeling that you are about to exert so much energy that your heart could explode? Maybe a hard workout to you is walking to the mailbox?

Back in the day, when I was turning from a sprightly twenty-something to a seasoned thirty-something, I had a sudden realization: I was treating my body like a punching bag. And let me tell you, I didn’t want to end up looking like a squished banana in my golden years. Luckily, a dear friend dragged me to the gym, kicking and screaming, like a toddler having a tantrum.

Now, at the tender age of 47, I can lift more than I could in my primetime of 21. And when it comes to hiking, forget about it! People who claim to be expert hikers, and swear they’ll leave me in their dust, are left panting for breaks while I blaze straight up the mountain like a wildfire. 

Looks like I won’t be drooling on myself or sucking food through a straw in my later years after all!

Listen, I may not be a hardcore, tatted up, goatee-sporting badass, but I am one determined dude. I hit the gym, and put in the work, so when I’m living it up in my 70s, I can still rock it to midnight!

Let’s face it, the world can be a crazy place. World War III, EMPs, financial ruin, famine, water shortages, power outages, natural disasters – you name it, and it could and can happen – and when it does, you don’t want to be caught with your pants down and your muscles weak. 

You gotta be prepared to handle whatever comes your way, even if that means dropping down and pumping out some spontaneous push-ups in the middle of a crisis. Trust me, a little bit of physical fitness goes a long way in keeping your mind and body in tip-top shape, no matter what life throws your way.

With a healthy dose of levity, here are some key principles I believe you should care about and get working on:

The “Gams of Steel” principle. 

It’s all about strengthening those legs so you can go the distance, whether you’re walking to safety during a crisis or tackling a challenging hike in the great outdoors. With “Gams of Steel,” you’ll be ready to take on anything and keep moving forward, no matter what obstacles come your way. 

Seriously, I know leg day sucks, and I am not saying you gotta get on the rack and grunt your way to a gold medal. Simply overload a backpack and get to hiking up your favorite trail. We need to strengthen our legs in order to be resilient and capable during a crisis situation…period. 

Or don’t and be that person who everyone groans about always needing rests breaks. You know that inevitable conversation, where people debate over who is gonna get eaten first when the food runs out – spoiler alert, it’s the person who keeps lagging behind the pack. Just sayin’.

The “Boots on the Ground” principle.

When you’re out in the wilderness, the right footwear can make all the difference. Having good hiking boots is essential to ensuring you can stay comfortable, stable, and supported during your trek. 

Think about it – your feet are your foundation. If they’re not properly protected and cushioned, you’re going to feel every rock, root, and bump in the trail. Not to mention the risk of blisters, twisted ankles, or other injuries that can quickly turn a fun adventure, or an escape plan execution, into a painful disaster.

That’s where the “Boots on the Ground” principle comes in. By investing in a good pair of hiking boots, you’re taking the first step towards a successful and enjoyable trek. With sturdy soles, ankle support, and breathable materials, your boots will help you navigate any terrain with confidence and ease. So don’t be rolling into an emergency situation without them!

Or don’t, and in that case, refer back to the conclusion of the debate from the “gams of steel” principle.

The “Say hello to my little friends” principle.

Having strong and toned arms can be essential for lifting, carrying, and moving objects that may be necessary for your survival. Whether you need to move heavy debris, hoist yourself up a cliff, or defend yourself in a dangerous situation, your arms will be there to help you out.

So don’t neglect those biceps and triceps – make sure you’re incorporating arm-strengthening exercises into your fitness routine. Who knows, your “little friends” might just save your life one day – or at the very least help you win an arm-wrestling competition for some water and a snickers bar while you and the rest of the survivalists live it up in the woods as the nearby city is being eaten alive by radiation zombies.

The “Grip it and Rip it” principle. 

When it comes to surviving a crisis situation, having a strong grip can be a game-changer. Whether you need to hold onto a rope, chop wood, climb a wall, carry heavy objects, or pull someone up from that same cliff’s edge – your hands need to be up to the task.

With the “Grip it and Rip it” principle, you’ll be able to strengthen your hands and fingers, increasing your grip strength and dexterity. From hand-grip exercises to gripping heavy weights, there are plenty of ways to build up your hand strength and get ready for anything. So get a grip, and get ready to rip through any obstacle that comes your way. 

As an added bonus – you’ll be able to open that jar of pickles that’s been in the pantry since 2021 because your hands used to be weak like your arch rivals defense.

The “Brain Gainz and Agility” principle. 

This principle combines the concepts of mental agility and brain training to help you stay quick on your feet in a crisis situation.

By engaging in brain-stimulating activities like puzzles and memory games, you can give your brain the “gainz” it needs to perform at its best. And by focusing on developing your cognitive flexibility and problem-solving skills, you can build the mental agility you need to navigate complex and unpredictable situations.

With the “Brain Gainz and Agility” principle, you’ll be able to stay sharp and focused, no matter what challenges come your way. So get ready to flex those mental muscles and build the brain gainz you need to survive and thrive in any situation – after all, a healthy mind is just as important as a healthy body. 

Remember that commercial from the 80s where the dad found the cigar box of drugs his kid hid? Yeah, Brain Gainz was not on their radar – and has anyone see either of those two since that commercial aired? No, because they got lost in the woods, all blazed out, and the deer eating on that GMO corn went bonkers on them. Laugh all you want…where are they now?

When it comes to working out for your mission you have to ask yourself what you’re doing outside of the supplies preparation and emergency planning. 

Have you ever noticed in movies and TV shows just how many people seem to trip and fall while running through the woods in the midst of mayhem? It’s like every other character is stumbling over tree roots, getting tangled in vines, or face-planting in the dirt. And sure, it might make for some comedic relief or suspenseful moments on screen, but in real life, falling down during a crisis can be downright dangerous.

Is that really how you want your survivalist story to end!? Falling down as Jason casually strolls your way?

Well, there you have it, folks – the five essential principles for surviving any crisis with aplomb and humor. Go ahead and lace up your trusty boots, get those gams moving, grip it and rip it as you beef up your not-so-little friends, and smarten up on those brain gainz – because you never know if the next “weather balloon” will release a calamity over our heads!

Remember, in times of crisis, it’s not just about physical strength – it’s about mental agility, quick thinking, and a healthy dose of humor. Stay positive, stay focused, and get moving on these five principles. Who knows, you might just surprise yourself with what you’re capable of!

And with that, we’ll leave you to it. Go out there and conquer the world – one crisis at a time. We’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines, with our boots in a seat and our not-so-little friends applauding you through the chem-trail, thermo-nuclear, lethal toxin, pandemic, drought, famine holocaust. See you on the other side!

HAHA – just kidding, you’re a member of American Contingency – around here you don’t have to do anything alone – unless you choose too! Get with your local chapter and talk about ways to train your mind and body to kick some serious tookus! I mean, after all, I know the joke goes that I don’t have to be faster than the bear, only faster than you, but all jokes aside, I am not going to leave someone behind, and I highly doubt you would either – so it’s best if we help one another get in shape so no one gets mauled by the bear…unless you want to, and that my friends…is all he wrote.